Five surprising places to find love

By Susan Johnston

Love in the snow lane

For Marie Melsheimer, 35, love didn’t walk in; it slid into the back of her car during an icy winter in Bend, OR 17 years ago. “I was stopped at a stop sign and my car stalled,” says Melsheimer. “His truck slid into the back of my car and he broke my taillights and dented my bumper.” The guy offered to fix her car, so they exchanged phone numbers. She blames his inexperience with the icy road conditions for their fender bender, while he blames her car stalling. Regardless of who was at fault, Melsheimer says it was love at first sight. “I was on my way to my grandmother’s house,” she recalls, “and after leaving him, I arrived there to tell her I had just met the man I was going to marry.” True to both their words, he fixed her tail lights — and they married several years later.

A purr-fect match

Plenty of romances come courtesy of some trusty canine companions at the dog park. Without daily walks, though, cat owners don’t have a similar excuse to socialize. That didn’t stop Whitney Shore, 26, and her now-boyfriend from striking up a conversation at the vet’s office. “I was bringing one of my cats in after work on a Tuesday, and he was bringing in one of his cats, too,” says Shore. “I noticed him when he walked in and was pretty excited when he sat down a couple of seats down from me. We started talking and continued talking for the next hour.” Though he’d already left by the time Shore’s appointment wrapped up, the clever cat-lover pieced together details from their conversation and left a note on Shore’s car with his phone number. “We met for brunch that Sunday, which turned into us going to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens, which turned into dinner, which then turned into a movie,” she says. “All told, our first date was 10 hours… and the rest is history!”

Sparks fly at 30,000 feet

Scott Trosclair, 29, was flying to Oakland, CA when a girl with big, grayish-green eyes sat down in the seat next to him. Her name was Emily, he learned, and they struck up a conversation, chatting about his move from New York City to the Bay Area and the fact that they were both wearing Rainbow sandals. Though they talked for the entirety of the flight, Trosclair waited until the last second to ask for her number in the baggage claim area, just in case she turned him down. Fortunately, she didn’t — and four years later, Trosclair planned a surprise proposal on another shared flight. “We met flying from Orange County to Oakland, so I proposed on a flight going the opposite path,” says Trosclair. “When we landed, I had her brother, mother and her mom’s boyfriend meet up with us in a limo.” Since they met while traveling, the pair included some airplane and travel motifs in their wedding this past spring.

Tweet love

Even social networks designed exclusively for online conversation can lead to real-world connections. Just ask MoniQue Shaldjian, 24, who met her fiancé Mike at a Tweetup in Phoenix last year. “I had seen his Twitter handle in a retweet here or there,” she remembers. “So, I’m at this event, and I got a tweet from him that said, ‘don’t leave, I want to meet you.’” She went to shake his hand and he went for a bear hug. Later, they both went to a bar to chat, and the conversation flowed as if they were old friends. Although Mike didn’t ask for MoniQue’s phone number that night, they started following each other on Twitter and she texted him after seeing he’d tweeted his phone number to a client. Things took off from there. MoniQue says that she “never imagined” she’d meet her husband at a Tweetup, but their shared interest in social media has helped the couple to bond.

Connecting on a commuter train

Long train rides may seem like a waste of time for tired commuters, but Holly Johnson, 27, actually met her husband Jesse while commuting from Boston to Worcester, MA. “He said that he saw me in the window and thought I was pretty,” Johnson recalls. But she wasn’t looking for a love connection, so when Jesse asked to sit next to her, she answered: “I don’t know why people ask if they can sit next to someone else — it’s a free country.” Still, it’ a long ride to Worcester, so the two started chatting about politics and discovered they shared some similar viewpoints. Jesse offered Holly a ride from the train station, but she insisted on taking a cab instead. “I thought he was a weirdo stalker,” she admits. “As it turns out, he really was just being nice.” Holly reluctantly gave him her cell number, not expecting to hear from him. However, Jesse called the next day. Now, eight years later, they’re married and have a child together.

Susan Johnston is a freelance writer who has written for The Boston Globe, The Christian Science Monitor, Parade, and many other publications. She met her boyfriend online but loves hearing unusual “how we met” stories.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine.

LIFTED FROM THE ORIGINAL SOURCE

6 habits that keep couples happy

If I read something that is worth reading, I make sure I won't miss sharing it here on my blog so my readers will be able to read it too and hopefully apply it to themselves and in their marriage. So here's another wonderful article that is worth your time folks. Enjoy!

Habit #1: Catch romance where you can

“You may start out with chocolates and roses, but the likelihood of being able to sustain that feeling with a busy schedule is pretty unlikely,” says JoAnn Magdoff, Ph.D., a New York City-based psychotherapist. Successful couples learn to build a bubble of romance at unexpected times — during their daily commute, while doing laundry — and in low-impact ways, whether that be a long, lingering smooch or just holding hands. In other words, the next time you hear yourself say “Oh, look, we’ve got 15 minutes to ourselves,” make use of it — that’s what keeps the spark alive.

Habit #2: Fight fair

Believe it or not, learning to fight right is an important part of keeping chemistry alive. Why? Because if you are constantly cutting each other down, it’s hard to feel mutually amorous. “There is no such thing as a relationship without disagreements,” says David Wygant, author of Always Talk to Strangers. “But if there is an understanding that your partner can come to you with any dissension without being attacked, you will have an honest relationship comprised of ‘open discussions’ rather than ‘fights.’” Debra Tobias, who has been happily married for almost 10 years to her husband Steve, agrees. “Steve and I have learned to listen to each other when we’re upset and we admit when we’re wrong,” says Tobias. “We also make a rule of never, ever saying ‘I told you so’ no matter how much we might want to say it.” The result is that their chemistry doesn’t wane because they never let their arguments escalate to a personal level. Focus on the issue at hand instead of throwing verbal punches.

Habit #3: Nurture your separate selves

Going off to your book club when your sweetie’s out golfing isn’t a sign you two are drifting apart. On the contrary, developing individual interests allows for a richer life as a couple. By taking little “couple breaks,” you gain a greater appreciation of the gifts your partner brings to your life and you have more to offer as well. “It’s very attractive to be independent sometimes,” says Magdoff. “You feel better about yourself and you’re less demanding of your partner when you’re together.” After all, taking some personal responsibility for your own well-being relieves the other person of the pressure to “provide” happiness — so go ahead and nurture some solo adventures. That’ll also keep each of you stocked with plenty of adventures to chat about, which also builds your bond.

Habit #4: Take on a project together

Separate interests aside, exploring new ground together is also important since it strengthens your history of shared experiences. Jo Smith and her husband of four years found this out when they committed to running their first 10K together. “We were training together, carbo-loading and hydrating together, running the race together and ultimately succeeding together when we both finished,” says Smith. “It brought a whole new level of closeness to our relationship because of the time we spent learning as a duo during this endeavor.” Couples who take on adventures together get a sense of daring and accomplishment that can really kick up their chemistry!

Habit #5: Don’t let your physical attraction for each other dwindle

No doubt about it, couples with healthy libidos have no problem keeping chemistry cooking. (That whole “couples’ desire for each other naturally fades over time” excuse? Not true.) The trick to injecting more electricity into a lagging love life has to do with trying new things — sure, it can be easy to work on tricks and techniques when you first meet, but people’s preferences can, and do, change over time. “In interviewing people on the topic of physical intimacy, it became clear that the couples who were the most satisfied were also the ones who were open to some experimentation,” says Catlett. This isn’t to say you suddenly have to become a wild thing, though. Even returning to the basics you may have abandoned along the way — lots of kissing and eye contact, for example — can make the usual encounter feel very different… and much more intimate.

Habit #6: Engage in some mutual admiration

In order for chemistry between two people to thrive, there needs to be mutual respect. “It’s about putting yourself in the role of an observer of your partner,” says Magdoff. “Watch them ‘perform’ — I’m not saying they need to do a song and dance for you — just pay attention to the everyday things that remind you why you find them so special.” Then, make it a point to lob compliments their way. “A good exercise is to occasionally create a mental list of the qualities you dig about your partner, and to occasionally share one of your thoughts with the one you love,” says Wygant. Because the reality is, you’ll always want to be around someone who thinks you’re fantastic.

Kimberly Dawn Neumann is a New York City-based writer whose work has appeared in such publications as Cosmopolitan, Redbook, and Fitness.

Lifted from its original source YAHOO MATCH

5 key skills to preserving a healthy relationship

I have been married to my husband for over five years now. Our relationship is stronger than ever before. We have had some hardships before and we were able to surpass them all. It is through adversity our love for each other is tested, thankfully we survived that it even made us see how we are as a person and as a married couple.

We have a gap of 17 years yet I see no age in our marriage, I see no color and I see no ethnicity. It is just so amazing how the two of us get along very well in almost all aspects of our lives although there are few misunderstandings sometimes. I owe a lot to my husband for he is such a good guy, a good provider, a very responsible and devoted husband to me and the best father to Jadyn. I am looking forward to grow old with him, nourish our relationship and cherish every moment spent with him and our children together in the future.

If you read this and wants to know some helpful keys on preserving a healthy relationship, read on. I snagged this from the internet to share it here to you all.


Be willing to forfeit: the win-win strategy
Disagreements are inevitable — as unavoidable as Tuesdays or the common cold. They don’t have to be acrimonious, though. And I’ve learned that in marriage the choice is often to win or to be happy. Being harsh and critical in an argument is only going to hurt feelings and alienate your partner. That’s fine if you want to rule the roost, but if you want to love and be loved, you’ve got to care for your partner’s feelings, especially when you’re fighting.

“When there’s a lot of goodwill, it’s amazing what you can say and still feel good about each other,” says Catherine Hastings, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist in Lancaster, PA.

Hastings sees couples become polarized in their disagreements, with neither person willing to yield. The problem, she says, “is the idea that there has to be right and wrong in an argument. And there really doesn’t.”

Get to the point, nicely
I can be a little sensitive sometimes, and not in the sweet and caring way. Usually in the don’t-talk-to-me-about-my-shortcomings way. Lots of couples struggle to discuss the big issues that can rend a marriage in two. Who wants to talk about money management, family relationships and child rearing (to name just a few) while you’re falling in love? These don’t come up easily when you’re sipping coffee and eating molten chocolate cake.

“People are not direct enough,” says Jane Barton, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Knoxville, TN. “Indirect communication can be really damaging.”

She says that couples need to find ways to discuss the touchy subjects before they get married instead of hoping that marriage will fix any conflicts. It won’t. You may find yourself legally and emotionally bound to someone with a wicked online gambling habit or who thinks children respond best to pain.

Take money habits, for instance. “With the economy the way it is and things in the news, it would be an easy thing to bring up on a date,” she says. You can also learn a lot by watching your partner. “Is she shopping at Barneys and really shouldn’t be?”

The point is not to criticize your partner and attempt to rein in his or her habits. You want to know if his or her decisions are in line with your values. If you’re honest with yourself about your needs, you’ll know if conflicts are on the horizon.

“Don’t take on the task of teaching a person or being anyone’s personal therapist,” says Barton. “Identify what you feel and share it.”

Recognize that there is an “I” in marriage
My wife and I are a team, talking, sharing and negotiating most decisions together. We’re individuals, too, though, and we don’t lose sight of that. We encourage each other’s goals and ambitions because we don’t feel threatened by them.

“Healthy relationships have room for that — his interests, her interests,” says Hastings. After all, she points out, “if you’re not able to address your own needs, no one else is going to do it for you.”

Be a copycat
Finding that mix of individuality and teamwork isn’t necessarily easy, but it’s essential. We simultaneously let each other be who we are while being influenced by each other. I had to learn to argue kindly, for instance, giving up the notion of the win. My wife somehow already knew that when we met.

John Gottman, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist who has studied relationships for more than 30 years, written several leading books about marriage and is the executive director of the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, WA. According to Gottman, one of the key components of a successful marriage is that the husband allows the wife to influence him. While women in general tend to be influenced by men without much emotional difficulty, men are often resistant. A man who allows a woman’s ideas and attitudes to impact his own is creating an equal exchange within the marriage.

And, as Hastings points out, you should learn to appreciate the difference. Each of you has strengths and weaknesses. Learning to let the strengths come through, no matter whose they are, makes for a better team.

Be positive — it’s not just a blood type
One of my wife’s greatest strengths is a generally positive outlook. Allowing her to shape the spin on a situation isn’t always easy, with my undeniable knowledge that the world is ending. But slowly, over the course of our marriage, I’ve become willing to see through her eyes.

“People need to learn early on,” says Barton, “that there are always going to be problems. There’s always going to be stress, somebody gets sick or somebody dies, and that’s part of life.” Successful couples, she says, dwell on the good times and not on the bad.

SOURCE: YAHOO Seth Wharton is a writer who lives in New York City with his wife of seven years and their two cats. In addition to doling out invaluable relationship guidance, he writes fiction.

Ten Places To Find Men

I found this article on Yahoo tonight and I thought of sharing this on my blog so that single ladies get to read this and gain some ideas on where they can find men for sure.

I am married to the most wonderful man I have ever known in my life for more than five years and I can certainly say I got the right man. Although we didn't meet in any of these places mentioned below yet I can somehow relate to some of these. My man is a handsome gentleman and mind you he loves fast cars (we both love going to custom car shows together with our baby), he loves doing manly things and Home Depot and Lowe's are his favorite places to go. Not to mention, he loves working out (we used to go to the gym together too) as well as he loves dogs!

You single ladies out there, aren't you glad you stumble upon this blog of mine tonight and is able to know what are those places you'd likely to find single men? Read on and start going to any of these places, who knows he is there waiting for you.

1. Eat Out

Busy, single men don’t have time to cook. This is why they need a girlfriend! Just kidding. However, when they are tired and hungry after work, they dine out at restaurants. So if you want to meet a new man, try a new restaurant at least once a week.

2. Join a Gym

Gyms are places where all body conscious men go to let off some steam. If you meet a man at the gym you can see what he really looks like when he’s all sweaty. If he looks good in gym clothes, he’ll look great in real clothes. People who work out are also much happier (translation: a better partner to be with).

3. Pay Attention To Your Pet

The sun is out and love is in the air. People are outside enjoying the weather. Take the opportunity to give your dog some extra attention and go to the park. If you don’t have a dog, borrow one. Many men think of dogs as soul mates (who else better understands their zest for the simple things in life?) and will often frequent dog runs. If a man sees a woman walking a cute dog, he will most likely start talking to her.

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4. Fix Things

To me, Home Depot is the worst place in the world. I would rather sit in an icebox and freeze than go to an oversized tool shed. But, guys consider it their inner handyman Mecca. Men love fixing and building things, so Home Depot (or Lowes) stores are always filled with an array of manly men.

5. Start To Love Toys

Men love toys. The bigger the boat and the faster the engine, the more powerful the guy will be. The same way women love fashion shows, guys love toy shows. Car and boat shows are places where single men are like a flock to a shepherd. If you attend a car or boat show, pick up on the finer things in life (um, Ferraris anyone?), while meeting a man to drive it.

6. Wash Your Car

Speaking of cars, most men love their four-wheelers and they like them to appear brand new. It could be a rut (pun intended), but I’ve always dated men who are car freaks and I’ve been taken to car washes much too often. But while I'm there (bored to death), I’ve noticed that they were usually filled with men, and pretty hot ones sometimes. Head to a car wash and remember, your car can never be too shiny.

7. Be Tech-Friendly

True or false? Men are into electronics. All the men I’ve dated (or known for that matter) have proved this statement to be true. Men love technology and are always looking for new phones. If you want to meet a tech-friendly type of guy, frequent a Verizon, Sprint, or AT&T store.

8. Pick Up a Sport

Do you like tennis or golf? Well, start to love them both! Being active will boost your confidence and help you stay fit. Golf courses and tennis clubs are places that men go to with their friends. If you join one, you can better your game and meet new people.

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9. Start Reading

Reading is a great way to escape your day-to-day troubles. Go to a bookstore and kill two birds with one stone – find a book and a brand new man. Some men love to learn and are always looking for reading material. If you’re browsing the same aisle, then you know you have something in common.

10. Get Cultured

Experience a typical New York moment by going to a museum. There are new exhibits opening all the time. If you meet a man at a museum, chances are he is interesting and cultured. You can also brush up on some art history while looking for that prospective boyfriend or husband.