My Love Story

"The poorest man of all men is not a man without a cent but a man without a dream."

This is exactly what my love struggles are all about.

Like any ordinary girl, I have dreams and ambitions. Since I was a kid I dreamt of marrying an American man. I am very much attracted to their physical appearance and the thought that mixed race babies are appealing to me. I have always promised myself to marry one someday.

During my third and fourth years in high school, I started seeing tons of US Navies and Marines in our city. I was too young and naive at the time that I even cut classes just to see them. Most of these men were at the Balikatan Exercises in Luzon, training Filipino soldiers with equipped weapons during former President Estrada's term. My friends and I went there to see them. We made friends with a few and it was indeed a great experience to have at least known some foreign men in them. As determined as I was to make it possible for me to communicate with the man in my dreams, I learned the internet.I started exchanging e-mails when I was 17, met a few in person. At age 18, I had my first American boyfriend from Arkansas. I was extremely happy then because he was my type. Boy, he was very attractive with his blond hair and blue eyes. He went to visit me in my hometown and finally met him in person. It didn’t work for us though because we broke up after 5 months. I was devastated. He broke up with me for no apparent reason at all. I tried reaching him on the phone several times at first but all I got was his answering machine. Later on he spoke to me but in a cold manner. I couldn’t believe what he did to me. It took a while for me to recover from that heart ache. I had moved on anyway.

Months later I met another guy online who was from California. He had the same physical attributes as the latter guy. On my, I can’t believe I easily fall for the same looks. For the second time around, I got all disappointed again as they guy came to meet two other ladies besides me. I thought for sure we have been serious to each other. I had been expecting too much all along. Not only that I saw other two girls but he had been window shopping for more. That was a shame. I was all embarrassed I couldn’t stand it I had to run out of the airport where I went to fetch him. He was sorry and begged for me to marry him. I didn’t get fooled by his drama and ended everything between us.

I didn’t give up and moved on to another hope of meeting someone I deserve. I met another one who was from Florida. He was all busy with his business so did with his child in his previous marriage. He had the chance to tour Europe and never to see me. It was all over for us quickly.

I’ve been hurt a few times and along the way it made me even pickier. I had almost found anything wrong in a person just to make sure I will end up with someone truthful to me. In just a little mistake such as misspelling of certain words put me off so easily from the guy.

It was in the middle of Feb.2004 on CB, I was checking my account to see who sent me a message. There were few mails and Sandy was one of them who wrote me. He first said hi along with all other information about him. I looked at this pictures posted and oh, he is so cute! And so I got back to his mail and replied with just very short note telling that he is cute and that I want to get to know more about him. That’s all it. The following day, he sent his quick reply again but I just ignored it, never took the time to reply him back because I was not interested with him.

Meantime, I myself was busy chatting and e-mailing with others except him. I was still trying hard to look for a possible mate who can bring me to the aisle. There came a time, it was 2 weeks after he sent me his first mail actually when I checked my mails and it was empty. I returned to his dormant mail which I never tried to response and read it again. I did reply to it and gave my Yahoo ID so we get to chat. Yes, for the first time we chatted. I could tell the way he hurl his words to me that he is the gentleman type, soft spoken and polite. But still I'm not interested with him because I thought "he’s too good-looking for me” and enough for cute men, they only play with your heart.

I asked him money with the intention of pushing him away and never wanting to chat with me again because I know for a fact once you ask money from foreigners they will never get back to you and get turned off for they might think that you're only up to it. This man is different. He never got discouraged instead he sent me $100 the following day. I really was surprised once informed by the money transfer office that I got something from him. So I got the money and thanked him with a promise to myself that I will only focus on him.

After four months of exchanging e-mail, chats and phone calls he decided to see me. It was in time for my 21st birthday when he proposed to me telling my father, "Elson, I came across thousand miles to marry Anne because I'm in love with her”. Even before he turned to me and declared his intention, I got teary-eyed already.

The moment, he knelt down holding the engagement ring while the other hand holding my hand asking, "Anne, will you marry me?" I got speechless. Where did my voice go? Could it be that my tongue shrunk? Now crying even more and finally I was able to respond, “Yes, I will marry you, Sandy" We got formally engaged on my 21st birthday and for me it was already a big dream come true.

Another 4 months had passed and he visited me for the second time for our big day --- the wedding. It was I who exerted much effort to make our wedding beautiful and memorable to all who witness and thank goodness, it went well.

Finally, I got my visa to come and be united with him in the states after a painstaking 9 months of waiting for the whole process to be done. Now I am so much happier. After all those thunderstorms in my life, I was able to overcome it all and thank God for the strength he had given me. Thanks to Him for he was always being there for me!

P.S WE ARE NOW BLESSED WITH ONE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER NAMED Jadyn. And another baby girl on the way, we will name her Megan. As for our marriage, we are going 7 years this October happy and fulfilled I am as a wife, as a woman and as a mother!

Life's lesson I've learnt is that, it only takes courage and determination to achieve the hardest goal you've ever thought you have in your life. I remember my family and friends told me "I am too ambitious to dream of marrying an American”. I had this saying before, By hook or by crook, whatever happens I will marry the man in my dreams”. I could say that I am stronger now. I am proud of my past. If not because of it, I would not be here right now living happily with my wonderful husband. I hope this will serve as inspiration to those who lost hope finding their love.

Grandmother-Grandson Relationship

'I'm in love with my grandson and we're having a baby'

What a curse of fate for two people who just met and are genetically related to each other mistakenly say they fell in love with each other the moment they met? Worse, the woman is way way older than the guy and guess what? She's the grandmother for heaven's sake! Where is your moral America? How could these people be falling in love?

I can't explain nor understand what these two are thinking I mean it's just absurd, you know? It got me wondering why of all people you choose to fall in love with why choose your own blood and flesh while there are thousands of people out there to choose from? Why? Why?

You might be wondering what I am talking about here, well for you to understand just read on! It is a complete lunacy people, don't you think? To think that you are in love with your grandmother and having a baby together... they are mentally ill I should say! It's a very disturbing story and they deserve to be cursed by nature and by God. Stories like these are just hard to stomach and hearing this one makes me puke!

'From the first moment that I saw him, I knew we would never have a grandmother-grandson relationship,' Pearl remembers happily. 'For the first time in years I felt sexually alive.'

'Making love to Pearl was a real eye-opener. It was love combined with all this sexual tension that had been building up,' Phil openly explains.

Pearl Carter is positively glowing with joy. She has a handsome new boyfriend, is enjoying an active sex life after many years of celibacy and, amazingly, is preparing to become a mother again.

But the retired grandmother isn't carrying the baby herself. She and her young lover have spent a staggering $54,000 hiring a surrogate to help them with their dreams of having a child.

What makes Pearl's decision to become a mum again even more shocking is that her new boyfriend is her biological grandson, 26-year-old Phil Bailey.

Phil is the son of Pearl's daughter Lynette Bailey, and the pair is braving public horror and even prison by breaking one of the last taboos – incest.

However, the pair makes no apologies for their controversial plan to start their own family.

Continue reading the story HERE

A Sad Love Story Of Marriage

I just want to share this wonderful story of two married people whose marriage is bound to be over. I have read this long long time ago when I just got married and then again this story became alive again today and in fact, it has been shared by several people on Facebook and on some blogs also. Now, I think it's my turn to share this to my readers so that they can have time to think about their marriage too after reading this sad but full of lessons story! Enjoy guys and hope this gives you insights on keeping the intimacy and love alive throughout your marriage's journey.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more.

There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.

It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

From Mama Mary

I just want to share this very pondering thought shared by Mama Mary's facebook account this morning. It hits me and so as the rest of the people. Thanks Mama Mary for this word for my spirit.

Mama Mary The problem today is that many hearts are closed to the truth. Many have so many excuses for the way they are living their lives. Many today are making up their own rules to fit their lifestyle. All I can say to my children is that each of you will have to answer to God. Each of you have a free will, but you also have a conscience. You know in your hearts what is right and what is wrong.

Grin

The husband asked me a question before going to sleep last night that left my face a sweet grin. I have no idea why he suddenly asked me about the trip to the Philippines while in fact earlier this year I have been vocal about it and he just doesn't think we can make it there this year for many reasons and then last night, why?

He asked me exactly this, "When is the trip to the Philippines?" and I replied, I don't know... and I asked him back why? He replied quickly because I am his wife daw oi. Wow flattering... Sigh! I hope that I can really fly to my home country at the end of this year for I am excited two provinces of my grandparents on both sides.

He Cooked My Fish

Unlike any Americans, my husband is superb! Why? Because he is the only American man I know that is willingly cook his wife's fish or dried fish no matter what the weather is. Plus, as we know, dried fish has an oozing stinky smell once put into the grill but I never heard my husband complaining about it. Geez how lucky I am?

I hope he won't change, I hope we will stay like this forever. Happy, harmonious, loving and most of all understand each other's thoughts and beliefs.

Taking A Break

I don't feel good today. I need to take a break in the computer for a while. My left eye starting to hurt and it sucks, I also am feeling a slight headache due to issues that's circling around the blogosphere lately. I am haunted by my own conscience since last night for I felt like I've taken for granted my baby girl. She needed my attention and I deprived it from her. What a life!

I promise myself to make up with my Deden later. For now, this is going to be my last entry written in my blog for I really wanna be away for a while. Ciao and later again online world.

Too Much Beer

My husband got sick last night and it worried me down to my bones. Negative thoughts came to my mind, what if he poisoned himself with rat pee by drinking the beer from the can although I was so sure that he used a mug to drink his beer not directly from the can. But what can I do, I'm just his wife who cares so much about him.

He was working the plumbing in two sinks in the bathroom at the same time drinking beer unknowingly he drank too much of it that made him sick. He threw up and needed to lay down occasionally as he said to put his head together. Whose fault is that now?

Him being sick resulted to skipping his dinner and the movie. At 9 pm, he was already snoring and woke up once in a while and then went to snore again. The baby was sleeping as well so there is no reason for me to stay up late and went to bed at 11.

Yeah! Abercrombie Baby!

Woohooo my two shirts I ordered online on Abercrombie and Fitch store is coming to my way. It has been shipped and I can't wait to try them on. I am always hesitant shopping at A&F because normally their shipping is a burden, it cost as much as the item you bought. Couple of times I attempted buying their clearance but I ended up closing the window upon check out seeing the choking shipping fee but this time I persuaded my order and voila! I can have two new Abercrombie shirts soon! I love A&F so much that whenever I wear one, I take pride in it not because of the brand name and the price but because the comfort of the clothing it gives me.

If I Don't Know

...that my enemies keep peeking into my blogs..still, after over a month since that big internet fight happened... tsk tsk poor people can't get over with me... They are too stupid to leave their marks on my blogs thinking I don't know they weren't here? They are wasting their time, it's their loss for I don't visit them back nor interested knowing what and how they are doing.. they are none of my business. I got a lot of interesting things to do rather than magpakialam nila.

These so called wholesome people nagmamalinis as if they didn't backstab the people they take sides on..pweeee loud! I am gaining traffic from them but they don't get anything from me because never will I return their hits. Mamatay sila sa kalagot.

Couldn't Help Yelling

I feel a little bit guilty for yelling at my Jadyn not so long ago. I yelled so loud that it hurts my throat afterwards. She just tested my temper, she wouldn't eat well in breakfast, she got a bunch of photographs only to scatter them on to the floor, she held food in her mouth and she sneezed it splatters all over... those things pissed me off and I am boiling inside. If I won't be able to let it out, it's gonna ruin my whole day so I spank the back of the sofa and yelled with all my might while she was watching me just so she knows I am very mad.

Not only I am mad, I also have a lot of things going on in my mind, I got this clutter that I see from time to time in living room exactly where I am right now, laundry to do, kitchen is a mess and a guy to let in the house for termite check up. Tuesday isn't a good day for me I guess because I have my red day started today? Who knows, I don't feel at my natural self at all today.

A Little Headache

I am having a slight headache right now. It's what I get when I try to sleep and couldn't shut off my eyes for few minutes. I just laid down in bed and not getting any sleep at all. After half an hour maybe I finally get up for it's hard to pretend you are sleeping while you're not.

The reason why I couldn't sleep is that I kept thinking of the freeway drive today. I don't know if it's just me who kept playing the scene of the road while I was the one driving over a hundred times in just a split minutes. Sigh! Here I am, headache and feeling a bit dizzy. Wish it is already night time so I can put myself to rest.

All Things Beautiful

All things colorful and beautiful in Spring. With good people surrounding me, I couldn't be more happier. As long as we are together, healthy and strong. Aw what a wonderful life I have. Thank to the Lord above for giving me this dream I used to have. Beautiful baby, devoted husband make my life complete. I am blessed, indeed!

Thank God For Such A Very Nice Day

I am so thankful for the very nice weather we have lately. For sure a lot of people are so jealous especially the ones who still have snow in their place. The sun is up and kinda windy but despite of that, it's still beautiful. My baby had fun playing with her dog earlier and so did I. I did my weight exercise outside the back porch while watching my baby doing her stuff.

These are the kinds of days I am gonna miss when it's Summer and Winter. Just soooooooo beautiful that I can't ask for more. Blessed indeed for it allows me to enjoy watching the flowers bloom and trees grow leaves.

Happy Easter!

To those who came to peek me at this blog, HAPPY EASTER TO YOU ALL!

Our easter came easy. In the morning, I cooked my family a healthy breakfast Chinese style, I made them fried rice, spring roll and a fish salad. After we had our breakfast I sent my baby to the backyard so she could do egg hunting which she did successfully.

And as hours went by, me and my husband became busy doing our chores. He was working to cut down the trees in the backyard while I got myself busy inside the house too. I did clean two sinks in the master bedroom and vacuum three rooms, two closets and the hallway.

So that was pretty much a busy day today for us. How about you guys? What did you do on Easter?

Eggs Are Ready

I snatched Jadyn from the backyard at dusk so that she won't see the eggs I laid everywhere in the backyard. The eggs are all ready for her waiting on her tomorrow to be picked up. I don't plan of going anywhere tomorrow so we will just do our egg hunting here on our own. Annie invited me to attend the FIL-AM egg hunting in Bedford but I don't feel like going there, I am tired.

We have been driving for two consecutive days and I want to rest tomorrow. I'm just gonna tell her that I cannot come. I doubt if my husband will be happy driving again tomorrow though so might as well, stay! I am just going to take photos of my girl doing her egg hunting ALONE haha! How sad. Last year, she did it alone at her tita Rose's house and this year, she's alone again. Poor girl.

Feeling Hungry

I just had my warm drink couple of minutes ago but here I am feeling hungry. The smell of steaming rice fills the entire house that makes my stomach yearning for food. However, I don't feel like getting up and prepare my dish. Too lazy to do that for now but I guess I really have to do it knowing that my little girl hasn't eaten breakfast yet. What am I thinking? It's almost 12 noon and neither of us had eaten something heavy.

Ciao ciao for now dear bloggy. I really need to get my butt up now and make some spinach omelet. I guess it will be so good since my husband liked it last weekend. I am gonna do it again today to feed my baby with some real good stuff straight from the kitchen.

Paydays

It's the first day of April woooooohooo and it's also April Fool's Day. Gotta fool my friends in a little while eh. For now I need to stay focus on grabbing opportunities to make some money. I so look forward to harvesting what I sow last month. Today and tomorrow, I am expecting three different payments from paid blogging sites. Reviewme is scheduled to send their payments to me this day which I think I'm gonna receive 66 bucks. At loudlaunch, I have 60.90 there and in payu2blog I got like over a hundred bucks there. Yeppppppeeyyy another batch moolah adding to my account.

Hopefully, I can come up that amount enough to pay for my plane tickets for I'm so wanting to fly to the Philippines later this year or earlier next year. Wish me luck for that.