Thursday, July 29, 2010

Boiling Mad At My Husband

I had the most terrible dream just before I woke this morning. I didn't know how to react whether to be mad or to be thankful when I was finally awaken by the daylight and from my husband's little movement when he got up from bed for I was just so mad at him in my dream.

We were in the nicest island in the Philippines for a vacation, at first I enjoyed it there then all of the sudden an older woman came to us handed some paperworks to my husband, he signed the forms for adoption of my cousin in Manila- the one who posted nude photos of herself on Facebook in real life. The forms were all filled up and ready for a lawyer's approval.

What made me so mad is that my husband did it without consulting me first whether I am gonna approve the said adoption or not. How could he do that to his wife? And I so hated that, plus the fact that this woman is the same age as me. Furthermore, he brought home the woman, in the same exact room we are sleeping I saw her there and told him to send her out 'coz we needed to talk which he did.

Then I burst into so much anger, pounding my husband's chest so hard, crying and sulking. I couldn't believe myself for I was really mad as hell. I was ready to walk away from him, packed my bags and walked on the street so fast all alone by myself and never looked back... but then my mother kept up with me asking what's wrong. I told her that my husband is fucking with my cousin, why the hell he's adopting her for? All along I thought my husband was in love with me and that he was all into me but then why a sudden change of feelings??? And a never ending cry....

When I finally brought back myself to reality, I found myself lying flat on my back on the bed @ 8:30 in the morning... I was so mad in my dreams that it made me so upset upon waking up, I really thought it was true. They say dreams are the opposite of what is true in real life...which I agree 100%.

I know my husband pretty well, he never made any decisions especially major ones without acknowledging my presence in his life and never will he do stupid things like that in my dreams.... When I told him about my nightmare, he said maybe I keep thinking bad things about him but what was portrayed in my dreams wasn't what I was thinking before going to bed last night. I had mix of emotions yes, but my thinking was far from being how bad my husband was.... hmmpppppp stupid dreams!!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA)

What's going on people? I don't believe this. Too impossible to be true. Read the article so you'll know if it truly is real.

A recent news story that is horrifying on so many levels: a 30-year-old woman from Michigan pleaded guilty to charges of having sex with her 14-year-old biological son. The woman gave up her son for adoption when he was just a few days old, and later tracked him down through the internet. She can face up to 30 years of prison time for her crime. According to the article:

"When she saw this boy, something just touched off in her — and it wasn't a mother-son relationship, it was a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship," the newspaper quoted attorney Mitchell Ribitwer as saying. "Aimee's searching for a reason why this happened. She can't understand it. She's going to get some counseling."


Friday, July 9, 2010

I've Never Been So Scared

.... read the development of the Officer's condition here Fort Worth Officer Who Crashed Now in Intensive Care

I was in the midst of enjoying my late lunch yesterday afternoon while watching Judge Judy when a flash news about a Fort Worth Police Officer shown in the screen lost control of his vehicle and hit a tree, critically injured written in BOLD letters on the tv screen that sent a shock right through my spirit. As the video coverage went on, I was sweating profusely that I was like in over a hundred degree temperature outside.

How could I not be so scared if my husband is out there too working the same line of work as the one flashed on the news? God forbid, accidents do happen anytime and to anyone. I felt hanging by the news not getting any information as to who that police officer was. I was frightened to my bones! 5 minutes went on when the news reporter finally revealed the age and years of experience of the officer and I was like THANK YOU, LORD for it wasn't my husband! He is a 37 year-old with 15 years experience in policing and that Officer is Richard A. Lambing.

Though I was relieved of what I heard, I can't help but feel bad of the Officer because of how badly damaged the car was. The way witnesses describe the sound of impact that should tell you how strong the force was that made the Officer unconscious and unresponsive. "a sound of a tire blowout and an 18-wheeler truck crashed" as described by one of the witnesses of the accident. Imagine that.

As a wife of a Police Officer, I can only put my spirit at ease when my husband retires in four years time....

Monday, July 5, 2010

5 key skills to preserving a healthy relationship

I have been married to my husband for over five years now. Our relationship is stronger than ever before. We have had some hardships before and we were able to surpass them all. It is through adversity our love for each other is tested, thankfully we survived that it even made us see how we are as a person and as a married couple.

We have a gap of 17 years yet I see no age in our marriage, I see no color and I see no ethnicity. It is just so amazing how the two of us get along very well in almost all aspects of our lives although there are few misunderstandings sometimes. I owe a lot to my husband for he is such a good guy, a good provider, a very responsible and devoted husband to me and the best father to Jadyn. I am looking forward to grow old with him, nourish our relationship and cherish every moment spent with him and our children together in the future.

If you read this and wants to know some helpful keys on preserving a healthy relationship, read on. I snagged this from the internet to share it here to you all.

Be willing to forfeit: the win-win strategy
Disagreements are inevitable — as unavoidable as Tuesdays or the common cold. They don’t have to be acrimonious, though. And I’ve learned that in marriage the choice is often to win or to be happy. Being harsh and critical in an argument is only going to hurt feelings and alienate your partner. That’s fine if you want to rule the roost, but if you want to love and be loved, you’ve got to care for your partner’s feelings, especially when you’re fighting.

“When there’s a lot of goodwill, it’s amazing what you can say and still feel good about each other,” says Catherine Hastings, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist in Lancaster, PA.

Hastings sees couples become polarized in their disagreements, with neither person willing to yield. The problem, she says, “is the idea that there has to be right and wrong in an argument. And there really doesn’t.”

Get to the point, nicely

I can be a little sensitive sometimes, and not in the sweet and caring way. Usually in the don’t-talk-to-me-about-my-shortcomings way. Lots of couples struggle to discuss the big issues that can rend a marriage in two. Who wants to talk about money management, family relationships and child rearing (to name just a few) while you’re falling in love? These don’t come up easily when you’re sipping coffee and eating molten chocolate cake.

“People are not direct enough,” says Jane Barton, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Knoxville, TN. “Indirect communication can be really damaging.”

She says that couples need to find ways to discuss the touchy subjects before they get married instead of hoping that marriage will fix any conflicts. It won’t. You may find yourself legally and emotionally bound to someone with a wicked online gambling habit or who thinks children respond best to pain.

Take money habits, for instance. “With the economy the way it is and things in the news, it would be an easy thing to bring up on a date,” she says. You can also learn a lot by watching your partner. “Is she shopping at Barneys and really shouldn’t be?”

The point is not to criticize your partner and attempt to rein in his or her habits. You want to know if his or her decisions are in line with your values. If you’re honest with yourself about your needs, you’ll know if conflicts are on the horizon.

“Don’t take on the task of teaching a person or being anyone’s personal therapist,” says Barton. “Identify what you feel and share it.”

Recognize that there is an “I” in marriage
My wife and I are a team, talking, sharing and negotiating most decisions together. We’re individuals, too, though, and we don’t lose sight of that. We encourage each other’s goals and ambitions because we don’t feel threatened by them.

“Healthy relationships have room for that — his interests, her interests,” says Hastings. After all, she points out, “if you’re not able to address your own needs, no one else is going to do it for you.”

Be a copycat
Finding that mix of individuality and teamwork isn’t necessarily easy, but it’s essential. We simultaneously let each other be who we are while being influenced by each other. I had to learn to argue kindly, for instance, giving up the notion of the win. My wife somehow already knew that when we met.

John Gottman, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist who has studied relationships for more than 30 years, written several leading books about marriage and is the executive director of the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, WA. According to Gottman, one of the key components of a successful marriage is that the husband allows the wife to influence him. While women in general tend to be influenced by men without much emotional difficulty, men are often resistant. A man who allows a woman’s ideas and attitudes to impact his own is creating an equal exchange within the marriage.

And, as Hastings points out, you should learn to appreciate the difference. Each of you has strengths and weaknesses. Learning to let the strengths come through, no matter whose they are, makes for a better team.

Be positive — it’s not just a blood type
One of my wife’s greatest strengths is a generally positive outlook. Allowing her to shape the spin on a situation isn’t always easy, with my undeniable knowledge that the world is ending. But slowly, over the course of our marriage, I’ve become willing to see through her eyes.

“People need to learn early on,” says Barton, “that there are always going to be problems. There’s always going to be stress, somebody gets sick or somebody dies, and that’s part of life.” Successful couples, she says, dwell on the good times and not on the bad.

YAHOO Seth Wharton is a writer who lives in New York City with his wife of seven years and their two cats. In addition to doling out invaluable relationship guidance, he writes fiction.